Friday, March 30, 2012


I keep having odd bouts of anxiety as of late. They come on steadily at times, and then others I wake up with them gripping my gut and perpetuating my mouth into a frown.

This makes me nervous.

I used to worry a lot as a kid. I worried about things I couldn't control, like tornadoes or car accidents; silly things really. I had nightmares often, and I still have them now; they are getting harder to control.

I've started to turn to relaxation techniques. Deep breathing, mental separation, yoga, etc. Yoga has actually helped a lot, just focusing on nothing but my breath and body has already done wonders for me. It teaches me to stop and really examine what eaxactly makes me feel the creeping panic. Today in the shower for example, my stomach started to flip, like the feeling you get before a big test you didn't really study for, or if you are running late to work for the third day in a row. I couldn't understand this sudden onset of anxiety. I had just come from hot power yoga, eaten a wonderful vegetarian lunch with my beautiful gal pal, was all caught up on my school assignments, and didn't have work until later. I examined each of these truths and breathed through them. I'm sure this sounds hippy dippy but it helped. Just breathing. It's all I could do at the moment.

I thought about the mental clutter I accumulate, and how that translates to the physical. I cleaned my room. I changed my bed. I vacuumed. I made things feel fresh again

And then I remembered what the instructor in yoga said this morning.

"Yoga and meditation does not change you; it reminds you of who you are and how you enter the world. You enter with the inhale, and exit on the exhale."

And that's all I can do for now is breathe deep.

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